Sometimes I still hate my body.
Sometimes I still hate my body.
Do you ever just hate your body and wonder why your body can’t keep up with what you’re asking it to do?
I can get soo mad at my body when she doesn’t keep up with the breakneck pace I’m running at or especially around the holidays when I want to ingest poison then ask my body “would you just deal & carry on normally okay?”!?
It’s almost bizarre we would even think this way. Would you ask your sister next to you at the dinner table to take even a small portion of rat poison then be able to go black Friday shopping with you the very next day. NO.
So why do I ask my body after spending a whole year healing and detoxing to make it a clean habitat to carry on as if nothing has happened when I intentionally or unintentionally just poisoned it?!
Let me share with you what happened this Thanksgiving & then all the insight that followed.
The holidays, especially Thanksgiving, have always evoked shame for me in my body as I cannot just eat and drink what everyone else does. But this year was much worse.
Oh man, let me tell you about it!
I spent the last two years of my life drastically healing my body, purging toxins and eradicating pathogens that were attributing to the debilitating symptoms of my autoimmune diseases. And now I live almost every day symptom free of autoimmune disease. Hooray!
I love my new lifestyle and this happy body habitat I’ve created. However, I’m still a human being and like to push my luck every now and again. Which I unknowingly did this Thanksgiving.
I loaded my plate and filled my glass with the same foods I enjoyed last year that didn’t do much besides make me feel a little tired. Roasted roots, a veggie dish, sweet potatoes, meat, bacon, and wine. There are two on this list that I would typically tell my clients in a healing phase to avoid, yet I didn’t think my body would mind. I was WRONG. Pork (although so delicious) is a very unclean animal to eat from a scientific standpoint, and some would argue the same from a spiritual perspective as well. And wine..well I don’t think they make it the same as Jesus did back in the day because in my book alcohol is poison due to its incredibly dehydrating nature and the NIH considers it a human carcinogen.
Now I am not here to food shame anyone, just wanted to provide some nutritional facts as we move forward.
So there I was just a few bits and sips into my Thanksgiving meal and bam, like instant pudding, I could feel my vibration had lowered. Then as I consumed more my head started throbbing and I got a little sweaty. Although it looked like I had barely touched my heaping plate, I stopped eating and let it sit. The headache went away but I felt a little “disconnected” for the rest of the day. I was still able to enjoy all day with friends and family though! However, I kept saying to myself, “I hate how my body reacts so easy to foods!”.
I was in a self pity party wanting to just be “normal”.
“So big whoop Jen” is what you’re probably thinking right now, “you got a headache and got a little bloated and then cried about it.” Oh no, I am not even to the fun part of the story yet my friend!
It wasn’t until several hours later that my body began rejecting what it considered “poison” I had ingested.
My stomach started to hurt and I felt like I wanted to go to sleep forever. However, my body said “you get up right now and head to the toilet.” Seconds later I was vomiting so forcefully and LOUD I’m pretty sure everyone on the block could hear. It was miserable and I cannot recall a time I had vomited with such force. Every 5-10 minutes back to the bathroom for another round until it was just acid coming out of my nose and I was literally crying for it to stop.
Afterwards I fell asleep on the bathroom floor with several scriptures coming to mind including: my body being a temple for the Spirit, I am called to live in this world but not be of this world, and something about pork not being clean. Thank you Spirit I can’t say I wanted to hear that right after I was pretty sure I about ruptured my insides. I swear I had never given mind to the scripture about eating pigs ever before in my midwest, farm girl born and raised, life.
My head was spinning and I was pissed off at my body and I took one heck of a cosmic nap on the bathroom floor.
When I woke up from my slumber after some major expulsion work had been done I felt like a different person. I felt so much lighter, cleaner and my vibration was back up. I was incredibly sore and fatigued from all the upheaval but I knew there was some reflection to do over what had just occurred.
My entire healing journey has been an incredibly spiritual experience.
My autoimmune disease and desperate state of health at one point led to my spiritual awakening and elevated level of consciousness that I would not give back even for a disease-free health record.
I wanted to hate my body so bad for what had just occurred but I felt it so deeply in my core that my GI upset had served as a spiritual lesson.
We cannot separate our soul from our body.
I know for certain that I have been placed on this Earth for a purpose, a mission that requires me to strive to be my best self and at my highest vibration every single day.
I believe I was gifted with an illness that would force me into taking impeccable care of myself so I feel this dang good every day (except Thanksgiving ha). This was the only way I would ever stay in alignment and on path to serve my mission.
We all have a mission on this Earth! We’re all here for a reason. I am confident of the call on my life and I simply cannot afford to play like the world and expect to be in alignment with my divine path. We are called to live in this world but not be of this world. That means for me individually, I can enjoy my holiday faves but there will be certain dishes and drinks my body wants me to avoid. The same is probably true for you as well. You know your red and green zones when it comes to indulging.
You cannot separate the body and the soul on this Earth and be living.
I believe my soul is at work in allowing my body to react so strongly to foods that would lower my energy and plummet my vibration because my higher self remains aware of my purpose and mission on this planet.
When I meet my creator I want to hear “Well done good and faithful servant” not just “glad you had fun down there on Earth!” I know if my body were to allow me to be just like everyone else I would not live the lifestyle I live, I would have poor energy, a shallow spiritual life, and be yet another crappy American health statistic.
Do you see what I’m saying here?
I know for certain, because I work with many of you, that I am not the only one who wishes their body would just comply with earthly desires.
I also know for certain that I cannot live like the rest of society lives and expect to stand out in my work and make a huge impact on this planet.
And you know what, I think my body is actually the “normal” one here.
The further along I get in my healing and detox journey the more I learn that my body is actually normal. Violent puking, headaches, bloating or intense food reactions to CRAP FOOD is her way of saying “enough is enough!” don’t give me any more of that garbage. Instead my body wants what it is created to eat, breathe, drink and feel. And that includes not pacifying myself with feel good food & drink so I can numb out spiritually and mosey through life.
Now I do understand some of you may have no heavenly idea what I am talking about. So let me challenge you to clean up your diet and notice the increased energy and vitality to your day.
For my spiritual or disciple friends, get back to eating like we live in the garden of Eden and watch your spirituality SOAR. The Spirit can truly speak louder in a temple that has been keeping up with it’s housecleaning.
And for those who understand exactly what it’s like to be extremely sensitive to non organic and toxin laden foods, just know there is nothing wrong with you, and there is no reason to hate your body.
Your body is fighting for truth in a world convoluted by misinformation and skewed norms.
Let your freak flag fly and simply say “no thank” you to substances you know will rock your world.
Get on with your life mission at a higher vibration with pride for choosing to honor your body this holiday season! <3
