My Healing Journey with Chronic Illness
Long gone are the days of endless fatigue, joint pain, anxiety, eczema, itchy/tingly skin, brain fog, weight gain, recurrent strep and sinus infections, bloating, gas, hormone instability, painful menstrual cycles, cystic acne, constipation, diarrhea, frequent bouts of gastritis, and overall poor quality of life. My body had reached it’s breaking point and was screaming for my attention. My health took a drastic turn leaving me sick, angry and couch-ridden. Little did I know God was about to take me onto a path that would challenge me, break me, bless me and build me back up all through chronic illness and autoimmune disease.
On March 10, 2018 I sat down after applying copious amounts of oil to my burning skin to take a selfie of what over the past several weeks had become my new reality. What started as some dermatitis and eczema on my chin soon erupted into a full face and neck catastrophe. Not only was my face incredibly startling for anyone who knew me before, but the discomfort and pain it caused me on daily basis was consuming. In the mornings I would wake up with my eyes so swollen I could barely open them. It would take a hot shower or sauna treatment for my skin to soften enough to exfoliate the dry, peeling layers that had built up while I slept. I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to open my mouth wide enough for a drink without my skin cracking and breaking open. During this time I could not leave home without a topical aid to soothe the burning on my face. I was terrified to go out in public and see someone I knew. They would know something was wrong with me and I would be exposed. However, the skin on my face was only a tiny mirror into what was really going on inside of my body. My healing journey is long and complex. This post serves to give you a window glimpse into the peak of my pain during my healing crisis and inspire you forward on a healing journey of your own.
So what exactly was happening in my body?? Why did my skin look so..awful? The truth is, my skin was a representation of years of toxins and pathogens that were finally leaving my body. My body had been so inflamed, so sick for years, that when I drastically changed my lifestyle to ensue healing, derma-toxins just began to leech out of my skin from my internal organs. This went on for several months. Having autoimmune disease means there are pathogens inside of your body & that your body is inflaming itself to protect against. I knew something did not sit right with me when I heard “your body is attacking itself” when reading about autoimmune disease when my illness was first uncovered. Our bodies are innately wise & I believe greatly connected to a divine intelligence. It is just our minds that do not slow down or dig deep enough to listen.
I knew my internal body was toxic. That fact manifested in the way I felt every single day. Like garbage. And it was getting increasingly worse. I had been paleo (no dairy, gluten, soy) for over a year, yet I was still getting worse. I had tried the keto diet only to catapult my health into further ruins. I was off all processed foods and anything I thought would harm me. However, the biggest missing component in my physical health was I wasn’t consuming enough living foods! Enough plants. Enough FRUITS. And I needed to banish the lies about how much protein and fat I needed at every meal as well as carbs will make you fat. I was way more concerned with piling my plate high with grass-fed organic beef than I was zucchini, spinach, cilantro, tomato and onion. I had in fact been avoiding some of these healing foods, even thinking tomatoes were causing my symptoms. So what changed??
In the peak of my illness, I had a fever that would not break and I was lying on the couch. I do not specifically remember ordering anything in the mail but the evidence was on my amazon account. Just a few days later a book came to me in the mail. I opened it not remembering who sent it, and began reading. Just a few pages in and I felt like the Holy Spirit was SHOUTING the information to me. I had never read something that resonated with my health so much. I knew that it was a miracle I had stumbled across the information written by Anthony William. This catapulted me into reading about how others have healed the gravest of conditions like cancer using food. Chris Beat Cancer was another eye opening text for me. Then I watched the documentary HEAL for the first time, it was way over my head but my soul understood the message.
Within a few short days through intense prayer and more reading I understood a very clear message from God about what I needed to do to transform my health. I fired my doctors, my endocrinologist and my functional medicine practitioner that was no longer serving me that once had. I threw the thousands of dollars worth of supplements in the trash and gave up the promise I had been fed that what was in this bottle would fix me. My first step was to begin juicing. I started making a couple juices a day along with transitioning my diet to low fat, plant based to allow my body to detoxify. I also started a few helpful supplements along with mental, emotional and spiritual healing practices. Just a week or so went by before my skin began to itch, flake and burn. I had drastically lowered my inflammation through my lifestyle changes by removing years of protective layers created by my body. Without the protective layers there, my body began to purge itself of toxins and pathogens stored deep into my internal organs. My blood became toxic and as it reached the delicate skin on my face the derma-toxins would damage my skin as they were flushed from my body. You don’t believe in detox symptoms?? I sure didn’t. Then I experienced what detox or a healing crisis can look like firsthand.
Why the outbreak happened only on my face I am not sure. Some experts say that is where dirty blood is pushed out before it reaches the heart, which is a protective mechanism by the body. I think it was the only way God could get my attention for me to slow down and go through this ultimately life saving healing process He was trying to BLESS me with. Don’t get me wrong, I would never want to go through that again. Physically, it was the worst trauma of my life. However, it has turned out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It has truly given me a life far better than I could have prayed for. With our great & loving Father every thing is made beautiful in it’s time. Every ounce of pain is for a purpose, and there is significance in every second of your suffering. Had I forged ahead with my own plan and stayed angry at God for what I had been led through, I never would have been able to receive this elevated state of life I was being gifted. Sometimes, hard times are not presented to us so we can just get through them. Maybe like me, your biggest pain could awaken you to your greater life purpose.